Trillions of Periodical Bug Boys Emerging in Eastern US This Summer
Two breeds of bug boy, one following a 13-year sales cycle and the other a 17-year sales cycle, are emerging together to create the largest swarm since 1803. The bug boys are emerging predominantly in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, Maryland, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia. We asked famed entomologist B.E. Tell about this phenomenon. “It’s really fascinating that the … Continue reading Trillions of Periodical Bug Boys Emerging in Eastern US This Summer
Provo Couple Opens Sex With Invocation, Closes With Benediction
In their two years of marriage, Natalee and Braeden Miller have never once had sex without opening and closing with prayer. “We usually sing a rest hymn too,” Natalee explains. “Our favorites are Love At Home and Come, Come, Ye Saints. Our bishop actually recommended it!” “I absolutely did not recommend that,” says an appalled Bishop Lawson. “I don’t know where they got the idea … Continue reading Provo Couple Opens Sex With Invocation, Closes With Benediction
Sell Outs? Church Sells Provo Temple Land to Developers—Cool Sculpting Clinic Coming 2025
Perhaps even the blessings of the temple can be bought out. Earlier this month, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints finalized the sale of land that was formerly home to the historic Provo Temple. The buyers belong to a cool sculpting franchise by the name of UglyFattyBodyByeBye Inc., who paid over $300 million for the land. “We just really love the location. The … Continue reading Sell Outs? Church Sells Provo Temple Land to Developers—Cool Sculpting Clinic Coming 2025
Breaking: Least Charismatic Person in Your Ward Called as Sunday School Teacher
Provo residents report an increasing struggle to stay for the 2nd hour block of church. In light of this decreasing attendance, Provo 2846th ward knew they had to step up and make a change. That’s why they called Derrick, the least charismatic person within ward boundaries, as sole Sunday school teacher. “He was the perfect fit. His voice drones on like a dying air conditioning … Continue reading Breaking: Least Charismatic Person in Your Ward Called as Sunday School Teacher
BYU Preps For Oncoming EFY Storm
In just a few short weeks, BYU will be infested…not with insects or rodents, but with something far worse–EFY Teenagers. BYU officials are aware of the monumental task that lies before them and have vowed to properly fortify BYU’s campus to face the onslaught, even creating a new task force called the Student Humanitarian Aid Response Team. We asked top BYU officials what their plan … Continue reading BYU Preps For Oncoming EFY Storm