FSY Album Snubbed At 2024 Grammy Awards
The 66th Annual Grammy Awards were held tonight in Los Angeles, California. The 2023 For the Strength of Youth Album, I Can Do All Things Through Christ, was anticipated to win big this year, but fans were left disappointed. Album of the year went, for the fourth time, to Taylor Swift for Midnights. “Of course we’re disappointed,” said Nik Day, a seasoned musician who collaborated … Continue reading FSY Album Snubbed At 2024 Grammy Awards
BYU Erects Razor Wire Along UVU Border
Saying that he was “fed up” with Utah Valley University students using BYU housing, amenities, and facilities, BYU’s new border czar ordered the erection of razor wire fences on the border of the two school’s territories. Grejg Nunbott, whose official title is “Protector of Cougarland Security,” has affiliated with violent extremist elements in the ROC Board. The wire, erected Monday, cuts through the Wal-Mart on … Continue reading BYU Erects Razor Wire Along UVU Border
Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Predicts Six More Years of You Being Single
In a shocking turn of events, Punxsutawney Phil has expanded his ability to prognosticate. In addition to his prediction about spring, Punxsy Phil says that you will be single for at least six more years. “I guess yesterday was the wrong day to break up with my boyfriend,” says sophomore Kyleigh McManussen. “I’ve been single for 29 years. What’s six more?” says grad student Jeyson … Continue reading Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Predicts Six More Years of You Being Single
Lonely Man Brings Back Scratcher to Sacrament Meeting
The back scratching phenomenon is one of the most fascinating nuances of Utah’s unique cultural landscape. Walk into any YSA sacrament meeting and you’ll see dozens of young women scratching their boyfriend’s backs. Is this a show of affection? Are they marking their territory? Are half the men in Provo plagued with some mysterious itchy rash? Driven by curiosity, one lonely young man decided to … Continue reading Lonely Man Brings Back Scratcher to Sacrament Meeting
Exposed: Barefoot Cosmo’s OnlyFans income has been subsidizing your tuition for years
A new ethical debate is sweeping across campus this week after leaked financial documents confirm that the Barefoot Cosmo statue in the Wilkinson Center has been subsidizing BYU students’ tuition via online sex work. According to the documents, the statue brings in over $85,000 a month through an OnlyFans account set up in its name. The account features mainly photos of the statue’s human feet, … Continue reading Exposed: Barefoot Cosmo’s OnlyFans income has been subsidizing your tuition for years
