Devastating! She’s Just Using You For Your Ikon Pass
Once the snow melts, Utah therapists are flooded with thousands of heartbroken young skiers. Cuffing season ends and dumping season begins when dating an Ikon Pass holder becomes less important than securing an invite to Lake Powell. If you hold an Ikon Pass, please read the following cautionary tales to prevent emotional turmoil in the spring. “I can’t believe I fell for the slut strands … Continue reading Devastating! She’s Just Using You For Your Ikon Pass
Student Drops Class Because of Opening Hymn
Florida native Dilbert Painter dropped out of his beginning weightlifting class this week. When asked why, he burst into tears. “Why are we singing hymns in the weight room before class?” Painter, a freshman, lamented. “I thought it was a joke in the syllabus, but we didn’t even have time to warm up after we finished all five verses of ‘If You Could Hie to … Continue reading Student Drops Class Because of Opening Hymn
How to Tell Your Bishop You Watched Saltburn
There’s no getting out of it. You watched Saltburn. What now? You have a few options. The first option is to keep quiet until you die. That’s the plan of junior, Jeyson Maeser. “I’ll deal with it when I’m lying on my grave, er, in my grave.” Your next option comes from senior Mack Lowe: “I didn’t see the whole thing, you know? Just part of … Continue reading How to Tell Your Bishop You Watched Saltburn
Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today
The Alternate Universe is dedicated to delivering the most accurate news to the people of Provo. So when our informants told us about a section of American Heritage with a waitlist of 127 students, we knew we had to do some investigative journalism. After just a few minutes in the lecture hall, an undercover AU reporter discovered the reason for the section’s popularity: Dr. Patrick … Continue reading Professor Who Bible Swears Kind of Pushing It Today
BYU Announces Devotional Lineup for Winter Semester 2024
Every Tuesday at 11:05 a.m., students, faculty, staff and the greater BYU community attend the weekly devotional or forum address at the Marriott Center. Most devotionals and forums will be broadcast live on BYUtv, BYUtv.org (and archived for on-demand streaming), KBYU-TV 11, Classical 89 FM and BYU Radio and will be archived on speeches.byu.edu. Please plan to join with students and employees each Tuesday at … Continue reading BYU Announces Devotional Lineup for Winter Semester 2024