Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute
Having seemingly procrastinated until the day before General Conference weekend, a panicked Elder Ronald A. Rasband has been spotted trying to crank out his entire talk in one night. “general conferenfce talk ~20 mintues make it sounds like not ai pls thansk,” Rasband was seen typing into ChatGPT around 6:00 on Friday night. Every General Conference speaker is expected to submit a copy of their … Continue reading Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute
Our Best Facebook Marketplace Finds
Run! Don’t walk! Message these sellers QUICK before someone else beats you to it! The MARB 2. Native American Statue 3. Signed Photo of the 12 Apostles 4. Faculty Parking Pass 5. Haunted Cosmo Continue reading Our Best Facebook Marketplace Finds
Updates to the BYU Honor Code Prevent Students from Using Hats to Cover Up Male-pattern Baldness
University leaders re-emphasize the importance of honesty in all things with the new dress and grooming standard. Many students were shocked when the Brigham Young University Honor Code Office issued a statement that they would no longer allow hats on BYU campus. While hats have allowed men with male-pattern baldness to hide their receding hairlines since the university’s founding, the Honor Code Office has … Continue reading Updates to the BYU Honor Code Prevent Students from Using Hats to Cover Up Male-pattern Baldness
The District: Where Are They Now?
The District is known for its entertaining depiction of missionary training videos. The show claims to be a fully real documentary of missionaries in the California San Diego Mission working with investigators. We at the Alternate Universe were curious about what happened to these investigators and decided to reach out. Viewers remember Jynx for her shock at learning of the Word of Wisdom (“NO COFFEE?”) … Continue reading The District: Where Are They Now?
Taking Tylenol During Pregnancy Causes Increased Ute Fan Births, Study Reveals
In a recent meeting with the BYU Athletics Department, Director Brian Santiago and his team led an important discussion with leading medical experts on the issue of Utah Ute enthusiasm. With the famous rivalry at the forefront of everyone’s minds, the department landed on prenatal tylenol use as a potential cause for Ute fan births. Santiago questioned, “Why would anyone not cheer for the Lord’s … Continue reading Taking Tylenol During Pregnancy Causes Increased Ute Fan Births, Study Reveals
