Elder Cook Just Celebrated His 85th Birthday Alone
The Alternate Universe has learned that Elder Quentin L. Cook celebrated his September 8th birthday all alone, because everyone was too excited about President Nelson’s 101st birthday on the 9th. In an interview with Elder Cook, he stated, “I sent out lots of invitations, and even bought a cake, but nobody came. At first, I thought they were hiding to surprise me, which seems like … Continue reading Elder Cook Just Celebrated His 85th Birthday Alone
Local Woman Ditches Mutual, Starts Pulling Men on Clash Royale
As any local will remind you, the dating scene in Provo is famous for being terrible. While apps like Mutual are designed to help young singles (and occasionally cheaters) find love, women are turning to new resources to attract higher volumes of men in less time–and one such resource is really doing numbers. Local woman Courtney Towers reports that she has added over 300 men … Continue reading Local Woman Ditches Mutual, Starts Pulling Men on Clash Royale
BYU STEM Career Fair Shut Down Early Due to Mysterious Odor in Wilkinson Ballroom
Internship application season is in full swing, and many students at BYU are trying to obtain that coveted internship. Amazingly, BYU has partnered with employers from all over the country to help make that a reality for students. One such event for that process was held today – the STEM Career Fair. All seemed well at the fair, until students started arriving in droves. Employers … Continue reading BYU STEM Career Fair Shut Down Early Due to Mysterious Odor in Wilkinson Ballroom
The Beginner’s Guide to Avoiding Your Ex on Campus
New school year, new you–and new mortifyingly awkward encounters with your former lovers. Because avoidance is more effective than therapy, take some time to organize your escape plan. Stick to Buildings Where Your Ex Definitely Won’t Be. Hang around highbrow sanctuaries such as the MOA or the Kennedy Center, where only enlightened souls roam—not people who still owe you closure. Wear a Disguise While … Continue reading The Beginner’s Guide to Avoiding Your Ex on Campus
BYU’s Fall 2025 Devotional Lineup
The new semester is officially underway, and you know what that means–a brand new lineup of inspiring devotionals by some of the world’s most influential speakers. Here’s a taste of who you’ll be hearing from this semester: Jeremiah Fisher: “Lessons from Matthew 18:15- “‘Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone…’” Taylor … Continue reading BYU’s Fall 2025 Devotional Lineup