“Cocaine Cougar” Sells Out Varsity Theater Second Night in a Row
The G-Rated, LDS version of the highly anticipated “Cocaine Bear” introduces a cautionary tale about choosing the right. All in moderation. Amongst few, unemployed LDS historians, a hot debate takes place on the origins of The First Vision. Those like David Deserat believe the dark power that overwhelmed Joseph Smith seconds before the first vision was none other than a wild cougar, dressed in the … Continue reading “Cocaine Cougar” Sells Out Varsity Theater Second Night in a Row
Controversial: BYU Professor Obeys Christ’s “Yea, yea; Nay, nay” Command
When reading Matthew 5:37 this week, “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil,” BYU Professor Ryan Farrell realized he could use his Computer Science training to fulfill the Savior’s command. So he has begun lecturing his CS 393 class entirely in a series of “yeas and nays” in computer binary, where “yea” = 1 … Continue reading Controversial: BYU Professor Obeys Christ’s “Yea, yea; Nay, nay” Command
Newly Discovered Joseph Smith Prophecy Accurately Predicts Entire MCU
In Doctrine and Covenants section 87, Joseph Smith accurately predicted the coming Civil War, 30 years before it began. This was not enough to convince his doubters of his prophetic calling. Well, let’s see them try to explain this. While demolishing the HFAC, construction worker Tim Devon discovered a box underneath a granite slab. In the box was discovered a 50 page prophecy, accurately and … Continue reading Newly Discovered Joseph Smith Prophecy Accurately Predicts Entire MCU
George Washington Named Honorary Apostle for President’s Day
The Church of Jesus Christ’s fascination with the founding father has always been a little much. To be fair, it is easy to see how important their sacrifices and courageous leadership was towards the restoration of our church. But it always felt like they were just a bit over-enthusiastic. This enthusiasm was confirmed this President’s Day as the church announced that they were making George … Continue reading George Washington Named Honorary Apostle for President’s Day
Angel Moroni Shot Down After Being Mistaken for Spy Balloon
“And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.” When Apostle Matthew wrote these words, did he consider the military ramifications this great reckoning would bring? Unlikely, yet here we are. Two days ago, General Dusty Kilgore of the United States Air … Continue reading Angel Moroni Shot Down After Being Mistaken for Spy Balloon